Sometimes I just think about doing a job where what I do wouldn't make a difference. Where I could file papers away just as easily as I would leave my job when I clock out. 

Instead I carry my job with me wherever I go. Right now it's hours after I've been done for the day and it's well past the time I meant to fall asleep. And yet here I am going over details and data and retracing my steps. Was I proactive? Did I word that the best I could? Are the new changes effective? Why didn't I see that coming? How could I have prevented it? What do I need to differently? Maybe I should've done this? What can I change about my response for the future?....

8 hours of my life consume me. 

And all of this is nothing compared to the struggle of the lives I serve. I replay the day because it's a job to me but it's their life. It's their whole 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for the rest of their lives. They don't get the luxury of laying in bed at night processing decisions and coming to conclusions. My job is their life. My stress and joy and tears are someone's struggle to get through the day. 

I am someone's voice and I hate when I fail them.